Steph Morrow Shenanigans

It was a cool autumns day, the copper leaves falling regularly. Lots of things were happening with life. Primarily I felt trapped in a realm where I shouldn’t be.

My family are woodland folk. A little like hobbits from the shire, we like food and drink and working hard in between. Our magic is green and calm and like lightening in between.

I’d fallen a little off piste, so to speak, thinking I’d found Mr Right in a pixie who was slightly irresponsible, busy – busy head, busy life, busy, busy. No time for relationships or discussing things. No patience to listen to my thoughts and opinions on things, to come to a compromise between us.

So I left.

Freedom.

One moment skipping out between the tall strong beech trees, with their little spikey casings raining down through the autumn months. Rustle of browning autumn leaves. Squirrels enthusiastically nipped about between their roots, snatching at the fallen treasure, so busy with their work to notice anything other than the invaluable task at hand – before winter comes.

The next, I tripped and fell, into the dark realm.

And so it begins….

First the hit of darkness.

It rips at your soul. Tiny daggers of the coldest webs of fear, tangling around your heart, ensnaring. Tearing you down further.

You feel yourself falling. Deeper still. Wanting to cling on to something but the web of fear and despair drag you down further.

Pulling you down into the abyss. Like you can’t breathe.

I wondered if I’m having a heart attack, is this what it is to die?

Down

Down

Down

Down

Eventually.. you stop falling.

And you wait, to see if you are actually dead.

Apparently I was not.

‘Hello?’

Silence

The darkness was so entombing I can hardly breathe

Every movement, echoing in the cold dark solitude

Wind picks up around me, enhancing the solitude and echoing in the bleak macabre situation I find myself in

I lay still for what feels like an eternity, flexing different parts of my body, checking for injuries

I think I’m somehow unharmed

How our Green God Spirit only knows

There’s no green here now

As my eyes adjust to the darkness, I look around. There seems to be a faint translucent light to my right

I start to crawl towards it

Slowly

Slowly

My cold sad heart slowly beating

I can’t die here.

Anxiety sweeps through my body. Cold sweat wetting my scalp.

I crawl onwards towards the faint light, the cold breeze chilling the sweat.

At some point I must have passed out.

The sweet chirrup of chaffinch infiltrates my foggy dark mind.

I slowly open my eyes and find myself looking up at dark tall pine trees.

I have no idea where I am.

What a bloody good idea it was to just run off. Well done me.

I always make the Best decisions!

I ache all over, but actually, as I flex each bone, nothing seems broken. How I’ll never know.

I slowly stand up and look around.

A fine morning mist whisps between the slender trees and the smell of ferns emanates around me.

I take a first tentative step, in which direction I don’t know

Suddenly I figure, Fuck it!

Lets just go with this new situation, what does it matter anyway. Anything better than the numb grey that I’d found myself stuck in in recent years.

I stomp out in any direction as if nothing can hold me down.

How bloody annoying, my father such a powerful magi that he can create all sorts of spells to prevent the plants from succumbing to their nemesis

My mother, an empath and also able to nurture the plants and animals to her will, protecting them and enabling balance

Then there’s me

What can I do

Nothing it seems

But make poor life choices

STOMP STOMP STOMP

Now I’m in this shit hole

In Green Goodess only knows where

I am so PISSED OFF actually!!

I run through the woods now, not caring which way I turn, following the paths that are naturally carved out there by who knows who or what.

Why should I care. The song ‘just around the river bend’ comes to mind. How ironic. I take comfort in knowing it’s putting distance between my past and whatever weird presence I now find myself in. And I just don’t care.

Funny isn’t it. They say when you find yourself in these situation, reach for help, ask for something but there’s no asking. There’s only feeling. Feeling Every Fucking Thing.

And Green Godess I’m tired. Tired of being incapable. Tired of being sad. Tired of trying.

Lets just Run Run Run.

Something rustles in the bushes nearby and I freeze

I hold my breathe. Not daring to move a muscle.

I have no idea where I am by this point – not that I did post falling…

A silhouette no more than 10 meters from me

A pixie form but it doesn’t move as such…

Standing tall and sniffing the air around us

A chill fills my bones as I watch

It turns towards me

And I see cold black dead eyes – not the vibrant blue of a pixie

It sniffs the air, taking it’s time

The wind is blowing away from my direction

It suddenly takes off that way

What the hell???

I don’t know what that thing was…

But I sure as hell do not want to meet up with it again any time soon

I walk on, more carefully now

The dark damp foliage touching my thighs, hips

Creeping through the undergrowth, wondering what other hidden creatures might await. I hadn’t considered my own safety when I was feeling all that anger

An owl hoots, loudly in the distance, its shriek a piercing sound in the solitude

And given it’s daylight, it feels alien in this strange space

It sets my nerves on edge

Surely, I’m not that far from home really…

I start to jog

Grateful to no longer be in the darkness but also totally freaked out by the sinister creature earlier

Another rustle in the undergrowth and I still

A crack of a stick somewhere behind me is all it took

Panic engulfs me and I run

Sprinting ahead, brambles tearing at my clothes as I tear through the overgrown plants

All of a sudden my feet meet thin air and I am tumbling

A sharp hill, roots and stems connecting with me in an unkind fashion

I’ve always been impulsive and I know I act on my emotions but this is ridiculous

The ground comes up fast to meet me and it goes dark.

When I open my eyes it’s dark again

The trees rustle around me

A bark goes off in the distance

It moves around me in the night

Bark Bark.

Logic instils itself in my brain

It sounds like a deer

A herbivore

Something that shouldn’t necessarily harm me

Jeez I ache at this point

Well, this really is a fine mess I’ve found myself in. If I harnessed better powers, I might just magic my way out of this situation but alas

I look up above me, in between the trees a few stars start to litter the sky

I’m suddenly desperately thirsty and think I can hear running water nearby so carefully move in that direction

As I move, something glowing catches my eye, slightly covered by leaves – a strange emerald, green glint

I bend down and brush away the dirt, loosening the earths grip on the treasure it hides

It’s something hard and round but with edges and it seems to be on a chain or necklace…

I pocket it so I can have a better look at it in the light of day.

Before long I’m near the waters edge, a gentle stream bubbling in between the overhanging trees and shrubs

Thirstily I guzzle the cool fresh welcome water

What an absolute relief! Maybe there’s hope yet

Although, the water has hit my empty stomach.. I could really do with some food.

Thoughtfully I gaze up the brook considering my options

In the distance I can still hear the deer barking their greetings to one another and I hope that strange pixie is nowhere nearby…

Something knocks my foot, and I stare down at the invasion of my space

An empty can floats on the waters surface and after connecting with my foot bobs backwards and continues its journey down the stream

A moment later I notice a second one too, the strange litter looking alien amongst the organic woodland scenery

So, there must be people upriver… maybe they could give me some sort of directions as to how to get out of this situation!

I hastily start to pick my way up the stream in the darkness, hoping against hope that my clumsiness is over and done with for the day and that I don’t end up soaking wet, because that really would complete things wouldn’t it!

As I round a bend in the stream the faint smell of wood smoke and food reaches my nose. My mouth waters

I hope with all my heart these people are friendly

Another can bobs past me on its reckless journey downstream

A small sandy inlet lays just ahead and within that, slightly further back into the woods, a clearing is visible with a fire in the centre

I decide to tread carefully and circle round into the dark woods to get a better look at this before giving myself away

As I move closer, I can see a large black pot with something tasty simmering inside, perched on top of a glowing fire. A figure is positioned on a log nearby

They tunelessly whistle to themselves contentedly as they get up to stir the pot, long outdoor coat billowing slightly in the breeze

It’s hard to make out any features from this position but they appear to be unarmed

As I consider whether to give myself away there is a sudden movement from behind me and before I know it two confident paws are shoving me straight out into the clearing

I stagger forwards and turn to see who my assailant is as I elegantly land flat on my backside

A beautiful red fox smirks at me, flicking her bushy red and cream tail as I gawp up from the dusty stoney ground I’ve landed on

The figure pauses from their stirring with surprise, whistling immediately ceasing

‘I’m so sorry’ I stammer through the shock of yet another clumsy incident – how many can one person have in a few days?!

The man strides over, the tails of the long black coat trailing along in their awake and with a slight bow and flourish of a hand says ‘Sorry love, Gyspy doesn’t like intruders’

I take the warm hand, vaguely registering a dark blue sapphire ring on the middle finger, which catches in the light, as I am unceremoniously pulled back to my feet, dusting myself off with embarrassment

‘I was just looking for directions to be honest…’ I start to explain uncertainly, absorbing the mans mop of unkept shaggy brown hair. He seems harmless enough..

‘Well as you’re here, supper is just about brewed, if you care for some?’ he offers, ‘we caught rabbits earlier so it’s a true feast this evening’

Without waiting to answer he starts serving some into three bowls and Gyspy shifts around impatiently, hovering in the shadows

He places a bowl on the floor for Gyspy, passes me a spoon and bowl and sits back down on the log with his own bowl, rummaging about in an oversized, but apparently empty, brown bag positioned next to him

A large loaf of bread appears, and he tears a generous lump off for each of us

I’m still standing at this point a bit dazed by the whole spectacle

‘Please pull up a seat…’ he suggests waving an arm towards a suggested location

Hesitantly I sit, back against a neighbouring log, enjoying the sudden warmth and glow of the fire

Both this unusual character and Gyspy are tucking into their meal with relish

The temptation is too strong, so I give in and follow suit

He finishes well before me and starts his tuneless whistling once more, gazing into the fire

As I scrape the last of the delicious morsels into my grateful belly, I ask ‘what is that you’re whistling..’

‘I wonder’ was the response

I look at him waiting further explanation and after a silence confirm ‘I have no idea what that is’

‘Oh not a big Kanye West fan then, no?’ he chuckles again, green eyes sparkling with mirth

Unsure the point of the joke or where to go next with conversation I turn my gaze to the dancing glittering gold amber flames, listening to the babble of the brook behind us

After a lengthy silence he starts rummaging around in the ridiculous bag once more.

Out comes some sleeping bags and ground mats which he throws down on the ground next to the log, a couple of pillows, a large duvet blanket which is gently folds and places slightly away from the fire. Gyspy gives me a reproachful look before snuggling up in the centre, tail over her nose but sharp eyes still keeping watch. Then comes a couple of the cans of drink – presumably this is where the cans had come from that were currently making their way down the beautiful stream

‘Appletiser?’ he asks passing one in my direction without waiting for my response

‘It’s only the best drink in the world… maybe even the galaxy, rare to come by now though. Luckily, I met a trader a few weeks ago and we made a deal… I definitely got the better end of it…’ his eyes glitter again mischievously

I’m not sure what questions to ask first.

‘Finley of the Forest Folk, my love’ he raises an eyebrow at me, ‘or Fin to my friends’

‘Fern’ I reply more out of politeness than anything, I mean he has just shared his supplies and campfire with me, with little information about myself

‘Who are the Forest Folk?’ I ask

‘They’re my family really’ he explains, ‘took me in when I was a youngster, raised me, cared for me. We move around the forest striking deals with other travellers to get by. It’s not the easiest of lives but we get by, as you can tell by the banquet bestowed upon us tonight’ he smiles, the act lighting up his face. ‘Today is a good day m’love’

‘And to add to it Gypsy and I have company, which is nice, even if Gypsy disagrees. She’s never been fond of newcomers’

At this point Gypsy flicks her tail, beady dark eyes still keeping an eye on things and clearly making it known that she is still awake and paying attention. The wind rustles the remaining leaves in the almost bare trees and fluffs up her beautiful soft-looking auburn coat.

‘And what prey tell, brings a maiden so fair to our part of the woods’ Fin asks

‘Well to be honest I’m a little bit lost, as I said, I was going to ask for directions. Although truth be told I’m not entirely sure where I’m headed right now either…’ I trail off

‘Well, if it helps ya out m’love, we are headed west in the morning. I’ve been told there’s a trading post a few miles from here. We’re headed there to scope out any handy deals in the morning. You’re most welcome to join us if you wish…’ Fin tips his drink in a cheers

‘Thanks, I might just take you up on that actually’ I respond, returning the cheers

Green Goddess forgive me, but Appletiser is actually pretty fucking good.

The Next Day…

The next morning, I wake feeling like a new person

A Robin sings it’s heart out nearby; I’d been lulled throughout the night by the fading crackle of the campfire and the babble of the stream in the background. The sun was almost dazzling, still low between the trees. It felt like a fresh new day.

Fin was moving about packing up already, Gypsy was nowhere to be seen.

I hastily got slithered out of the sleeping bag

‘No need to rush’ Fin says with a smile, ‘Carpe Diem though, plus it is a truly beautiful morning’

I carry everything over to the pile he’d been gathering and watch in wonder as he carefully folds items or packs them away and places them into the still empty looking, oversized bag – what is this, Mary Poppins’ carpet bag? Was he going to pull a hat stand out of it next?

‘Where’s Gypsy’ I ask

‘She goes off roaming, particularly in the early hours of the morning. She’s a free spirit – a bit like me I guess, maybe that’s why we get on. She’ll catch up when she’s good and ready though…’ was Fin’s casual reply

Once everything was packed away, he pauses thoughtfully for a heartbeat

Next, he rummages around in the bag and pulls out an actual hat… a lady’s bonnet adorned with flowers no less

He poses for a heartbeat, jauntily adorning it with a flourish and a pose

‘How do I look??’ he smiles, green eyes glimmering

I look dumbfounded… ‘Urr great’ I reply somewhat confused

He laughs, a jingling infectious sound making me smile in return

‘hmmmm’ he says rummaging around once more

A second hat appears, this one complete with tassels, some sort of winter hat, as if the tassels are rainbow hair

‘This one perhaps?’ he asks

I literally laugh out loud at this.

‘I agree’ he says removing it and rummaging again…

Next comes some sort of beret in a shocking red colour, making him look very arty

‘And does madame think this one may do?’ he inquires with a serious look but still light ringing in his eyes

‘Urrr’ is all I can say, not being able to help myself but still smile

Finally, a serious grey top hat is pulled from the confusing bag.

He perches it loftily on his head. Turns and winks at me

‘Gotta dress the part’ he says.

It suits him although not the woodland environment we currently inhabit yet compliments the soft dark leather of his long jacket.

On that note it appears we are ready to depart

As we meander through the scenic woodland, reminding me a lot of home, I relax around Fin and explain how I came to be both truly lost and miles from my village, but also trying to escape the life I had

In turn he listens thoughtfully, absorbing everything I’m saying

After I while curiosity gets the better of me

‘Where’s your hat come from? I’ve never seen anything like it’

Fin responds, ‘Well m’love, from the city of course. Governed by a rabble of over opinionated, over inflated pixie high and mighty lords. But that’s not to say I can’t appreciate good fashion sense…’

Fascination sweeps over me as I ponder the idea of a city. Our little village has little interaction with the outside world. Occasionally travellers will pass through or join the village – like my Mr Right who had joined our village when I was a teenager. He didn’t speak of a city or much about his past in truth, too busy with projects and living in the now.

‘What’s it like there?’ I ask

‘Nay it’s not somewhere I’d recommend going’ was the abrupt response from Fin, ‘I avoid it as best I can and heard through the grape vine that there’s a terrible plague there at present….’

Apparently, that was the end of the conversation as hustle and bustle noises start to bleed through the forest…

The Trading Post…

We step out into a clearing, slight mist lifting between the trees in the morning sunshine, where two paths through the forest converge and suddenly all manner of characters are mingling, chatting and bartering, baying and barking

It’s bedlam and slightly overwhelming to say the least!

‘Stick with me love, I’ve gotta find my pal Jono, he’s meant to be sourcing something for me… might have directions for you too…’

We push through the crowds, groups of people gathering in front of shouting trades persons, offering their wares and declaring their value

Carts and wagons attached to impatient or tired looking animals were parked haphazardly in the background of the clearing

The smell of meat & eggs cooking and wood smoke from the fires mingles on the air

Fin seems to know where he’s going so there’s nothing more to do than follow him or else be separated and Green Goddess knows how I would find him again

Or maybe this is where we should depart? I need to find someone to give directions…

But the thought of trying to approach any of these busy impatient folk seems a daunting idea

My palms sweat and heart rate goes up

This really is overwhelming.

We reach a quieter corner of the clearing where a small brown tent stands

Fin turns and tips his top hat at me with a flourish and a smirk says ‘I’ll be right back’, pulling back the tent door and vanishing into the darkness within

Exasperatedly I peer after him

Quite clearly, I’m not meant to follow.  

I gaze across the busy area in front of me and my heart longs for the peace of home.

One merchant holds up a poor chicken by her back legs and proclaims her to be the best egg layer in history as eager spectators shout offerings of items or money to trade for her. She flaps her wings uselessly, clearly alarmed at it all as well

Another trader nearby holds a rug over one shoulder, glittering gold rings on his fingers sparkle in the sunshine as he displays the rug with a confident smile – apparently also the best rug any forest folk could hope to find

Doubt starts to creep into my consciousness

These people all seem a little shady and certainly out for their own gains…

I can’t even catch anyone’s eye to ask for directions, they’re all so absorbed in this frantic exchange of goods

All of a sudden Fin materialises beside me, adjusting his top hat, closely followed by a large burly looking man, who I presume to be Jono

Fin looks at me. A dark shutter descends his handsome usually animated features.

No more jokes or warmth or sparkly eyes.

‘Sorry love, it’s only business… and after all, you owe me for the bed and dinner…’

A slight smirk reaches his lips

‘I’ll pay you back again next time…

(And is almost to himself with a slight shake of his head….)

This too will pass…’

Jono turns to me with a cold stare and before I had a chance to think, grabs my forearm.

He marches me towards a nearby cart, dragging me past the two large docile highland cows tethered to the waggon. One with auburn shaggy hair, beautiful intimidating horns curled to the sky. The other a maple syrup coloured shaggy complexion. Neither look keen to pull the wooden waggon tethered to them, sad slow looks on their bashful eyes as the beautiful sad creatures stamp their hooves

Jono makes sure a whip is clear, hanging against his hip, so there’s no questioning the plan of action.

I struggle in his grip, but he flings me into a small door at the rear and firmly closes it behind me.

I hear him shout to Fin, ‘Please doing business again lad..’

I whimper in the dark interior, as it sways into motion, the smell of stale hay meeting me

How could I be so stupid

What fate lay before me now?

A dark coldness shrouds my heart, and tears prick my eyes as the realisation of the betrayal starts to sink into my soul.

He seemed so nice??!

I peer through the wooden runners and all I can see is Fin, back to the departing waggon, apparently counting something and now a sparkly happy Gypsy is by his side once more, perched jauntily on top of what appears to be a crate of Appletiser.

I’ve never felt more alone

Like a silent promise has been betrayed

How could he do this? After seeming so kind and helpful

This won’t rip me apart.

Determination sears through my veins

I won’t die at his cruel hands.

The wagon rocks along the rocky woodland trail for what seems like an age

Trees pass us by as we follow a trail

I start to lose all sense of time as the despair of my situation truly dawns on me

To the Green Goddess with Fin, he clearly feels no guilt for this either.

In fact, it was like he was loving every minute of my stupid naivete

I played right into his hands and allowed him to take advantage; thought I was flying away from my problems and now this

If anything, he looked like he enjoyed seeing my anguish

It’s like he was two very different people

A sick feeling sinks in my stomach.

Woodland folk aren’t like that, we’re honest and kind. What sort of world is this I’ve stumbled into?

The wagon eventually comes to a stop…